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Indian
Titanic |
The name of the
movie would be "Goa to Bombay".
Madhuri has to be Rose and who else but Shahrukh as Jack.
Madhuri's fiance would be Gulshan Grover who mutters "bad
man" every time he sees Shahrukh.
Amitabh Bacchan would make a guest appearance as the Ship's
captain and would be waltzing with Madhuri during the party.
Of course, he would not die.
Shahrukh will be travelling with his sister and 5 other
chamchas from college plus 50 extras who are well trained in
every dance sequence in the world.
The movie would only last for 7 hours. Thanks to great piece
of editing,there would be only 22 songs in the movie out of
30 in the CD.
The ship would be overflowing with extras whom you normally
find in movies that have a court scene full of people or a
slum full of aam-janta.
The ship will start sinking, not because of the iceberg but
because of excessive on-board population.
The infamous lovemaking in the back seat of the car would be
replaced with a song in the Swiss Alps.
Best friend of Shahrukh will save his sister from being
raped during the chaos.The sister will instantly fall in
love right after this and she will also get a song or two.
Remember Rose changing her mind about jumping into the
water? In our case, Madhuri changes her mind,
since...since... the ship is moving along a creek and the
water stinks!
How can we forget the painting scene? Shahrukh would be
painting Madhuri's portrait with Madhuri fully covered minus
the locket (Censors yaar!).
This is to be followed by a dance number, with extras of
course, in an art gallery.
Shahrukh would eventually find his long lost mom Aasoo Devi
on the ship. Only during the climax would Aasoo Devi tell
Shahrukh about how Gulshan troubled them.
Shahrukh would then yell, "Kutte mein tera khoon pee
jaaoonga". The ensuing fight would only last for an hour.
There would be an antakshari for the "drowners" conducted by
Anu Kapoor instead of the trio playing the violin.
Most important!! The number of times the word "Bachaoooo"
would be yelled would be a record in the history of cinema.
"Raaaabert...Captain se ja ke kaho ke agar apni maa or bahen
ko zinda dekh na chahte ho to naav ko Hindustaan kee sarhado
se hamesha hamesha ke liye bahoootdoor le le." |
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